I don't feel like it...

Jerusalem 2005

While waiting for my daughter's storytime to begin at the library yesterday, I picked up a book and read a lot of it last night. It's called "Sacred Chaos: Spiritual Disciplines for the Life You Have" by Tricia McCary Rhodes. It's an interesting read and perhaps contains some thoughts that I really needed to hear at this time in my life.

The author talks about seeking to live our chaotic lives in G-d's presence rather than seeking to withdraw from the chaos in order to find G-d in solitude. Not saying that solitude is a bad thing, but that it is not the only way, and often not the most practical way (especially if you are a mother of small children) to seek G-d's face.

Let me tell you about the "two-minute miracle" which she mentions. She says this is "a technique physical therapists use to help patients overcome their resistance to exercise. They tell them that when they don't want to take a walk, they should say that though they don't feel like walking, they will for just two minutes. Then when they finish that, they might tell themselves the same thing again. The point is that before they know it, they're walking and enjoying it and at some point along the way find themselves eager to do the entire therapy plan." I think this technique could be very helpful to me if I apply it to things that I don't feel like doing. As a woman, there are many things I choose not to do because I don't feel like doing them. Just as the author applied this technique to prayer, so will I.

I struggle with prayer because I don't feel like praying when I actually feel like I have a chance to pray. Like when Elisheva is sleeping (which she is doing now), I could be talking to G-d or reading Scripture instead of writing this for you to read. G-d has His ways, though, because when I turned on the computer to write this because I felt He was prompting me to share it, it wouldn't bring up my desktop so I could get online. I had to wait and wait and then turn it back off and back on... but because I was thinking about prayer, you know what I did... I prayed before I turned it back on and it came up instantly. But for that couple of minutes in between, I talked to G-d about what I was feeling and what I was thinking about writing because if He is not in this, it does nothing for me or for you. I think sometimes G-d just wants to get our attention for a moment so He can remind us what's really important. Rhodes also writes about taking a moment to 'check in' with G-d throughout your day, asking Him what you should be doing or thinking or saying, etc. I would like to put that into practice, especially before I turn on the computer to write an entry on this blog...

There is a time-honored tradition and a Scriptural precedent for praying three times a day at intentional set times. Psalm 55:17 says "Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, And He will hear my voice" (I thought there was a more positive verse regarding this, but this is what I found. Don't worry, G-d is not afraid of your complaining and if you are talking to Him, then you are praying!) Another instance is the example that Daniel set while in Babylon, praying three times a day towards Jerusalem in front of his window (Daniel 6:10). I have to admit, if I even go through an abridged version of the prayers in the siddur once a day and speak to G-d also in my own words, I'm doing good. But three times a day, I'm not there yet. I won't list excuses... let's just say that I don't feel like it...

The most encouraging and convicting notion that we could ever consult is to look at the example we should be following: Yeshua. He prayed. He prayed often. Every time I ponder that, it blows my mind. The Son of G-d prayed, and it makes perfect sense that He needed to pray because He was fully man. Rhodes put it like this: "With a heart set on accomplishing his Father's will, he cried out for the physical strength, mental acuity, emotional balance and spiritual focus to do so." Do you need these? I know I do. Often easier said than done, but if Yeshua prayed, then we should too. If Yeshua needed anything, we need so much more. Let us allow our need to remind us to speak to the One who supplies our every need. Let us take the time to be intentional in our prayer, whether we feel like it or not. Let's thank Him, praise Him, ask Him questions, and most importantly, let us listen and obey. Mothers, let us make the chaos sacred...