shabbat... with children...

Shabbat observance, along with most everything else, is something that evolves and changes when children are introduced into a household. "Shabbat with children" almost sounds like an oxymoron, doesn't it, moms?! But shabbat rest is certainly more than kicking up your feet or taking a nice, long nap. When your soul is at rest with its Creator, then you can have rest... whether it's in a quiet home or one filled with screaming, running children...

Since I only have two children, ages 5 and 2, I cannot speak for the mothers who have more and have older children, but I will try my best to generally speak about what Shabbat can be like for mothers, and soon enough I will be able to speak with more experience as my little ones grow bigger and/or G-d chooses to give us more children.

I remember being in a college classroom (at a Christian university) hearing a classmate express her experience of "keeping the Sabbath," as she was raised in a Seventh Day Adventist home. She spoke of its legalism, how her parents would not allow her to watch television or go anywhere or "do anything," how she hated it and couldn't wait for it to be over so she wouldn't be so "bored" anymore. Well, as a messianic believer, these words truly stuck with me because I will raise my children to observe the Sabbath as well, and I truly hope their experience is much different than this young woman expressed. On another occasion, while working in a Judaica store, I had a discussion with the owner also about Shabbat (and Holy Day)-keeping in a Jewish home. He wisely noted that in homes where the Shabbat and Holy Days were about fun and time with family, the children usually grow up to carry on those traditions. However, if they are about rules and obligation, then the children might not continue the traditions. What these two stories have in common is that Shabbat celebrations are lacking if there is no JOY in the home that is celebrating. In fact, we are commanded and urged to "delight in the Shabbat" (Isaiah 58:13-14 for instance). As I wrote in an earlier post, Shabbat should be a day that is joyously anticipated, not dreaded. Spend time with family, sing special songs, do special activities, read together, etc. Shabbat should not be a 'boring' day for children, and it shouldn't be boring for us adults either (although I am guilty of feeling this way at times).

We saw kids do this on Shalom Sesame, and they love it!

                 

The key word here, especially in regards to children, is special.

  Children, even as young as mine, can ascertain that Shabbat is special if we talk about it that way and make it feel that way for them. For example, my children know it's a special time when I invite them to help me make challah (egg bread) on (some) Fridays,
or open up their "Shabbat Treasure Box" (which has now been upgraded to an actual wooden chest) on Friday afternoons and then put it away on Saturday night. There is a cute book out called "The Shabbat Box," which we should really read! From the book, someone has put instructions for making your own box here.

our first Shabbat book and Torah

                           

As of right now, their Shabbat box contains their wooden kid-friendly Shabbat set which they love, a scarf for my daughter to cover her head while she blesses and "lights" the candles, a plastic tablecloth for them to set their own shabbat table, some shabbat books, and a few little toys and games (and sometimes I will place a new one in as a Shabbat gift). Although my daughter has almost outgrown the wooden set (and would rather use something more realistic), my son's little face never fails to light up when he sees me taking the set out of the chest. As they grow,  the Shabbat Box will grow and its contents will change, but it's a tradition that I will continue. I anticipate having some kind of special games (my husband and I love Bible trivia games, so perhaps we'll put one in for us!) that teach Scripture or Biblical values. We could also have special Shabbat crafts. I have made one easy game for matching the day of creation to what was created, but I will post other games as I make them. 

homemade game

There are websites with Shabbat fun for children as well. I enjoy www.jewishhomeschool.blogspot.com, which has a printable Shabbat activity pack, which I printed out and placed inside sheet

 protectors so we can use dry-erase markers, and then wipe them off and use again next week. (I do that for a lot of worksheets that I print out now!) This packet is now in our Shabbat box, so it's a fun thing for them to do on Friday or Shabbat afternoon. Although we do not follow the halacha that doesn't allow people/children to "create" anything on Shabbat (i.e. no writing, drawing, playing music, etc.), if you do keep that halacha, then these activities would be great on Friday mornings/afternoons to give kids something to do while you are preparing for Shabbat.  Here are some other links for making Shabbat special for kids:

Torah Resource has a bunch of children's lessons here (including one on Shabbat.)

First Fruits of Zion has kids' (all ages) coloring pages & worksheets
when you sign up for their free online membership. 

Aish.com: Making Shabbat Fun For Kids
Aish.com also has weekly Parashah coloring pages that we have used.

J Gateways website has printable Shabbat blessing cards, color matching and file folder games here 

Simple Hebew Shabbat Song on YouTube or you can watch it on this website, which also has the translation.   

Aklah has some Shabbat resources here. 

Nice Shabbat coloring page that can used as a place mat here.

Teachers Pay Teachers has some Shabbat educational resources that can be purchased. 

Another way we make Shabbat special is by playing some Shabbat 

music on Fridays. If your children are allowed to play instruments, then get them out and let them play along! My favorite is the original OyBaby CD, and they also have a DVD for babies and toddlers. (This link has a video with some short samples of the music.) This looks like a cute Shabbat CD for toddlers. If you use the Pandora music app, you can search for a Shabbat channel there. We also love the Shalom Sesame videos, and the Shabbat one is probably our favorite. shalomsesame.org also has educator's guides, printables, video clips, and games as well. Your local library may have the DVDs available to check out for free. 

We also have some Shabbat and/or Jewish books that only come out once a week. I found this online list of some great books about Shabbat here. If you haven't heard of it, there is a program you can sign up for in many areas called PJ Library which sends young children free Jewish books every month. We love it, and have recently signed up for it again. Most of our Shabbat books have come from them!

 
The possibilities are endless, and as the children get older, I'm confident that they will have their own creative ideas of activities to do in honor of Shabbat, too. 

Shabbat is a day for doing good, so if there is a need in the community, children can be taken along to help out as well. Since Shabbat occurred after the creation of the world, it's a great time to go outside for a picnic, some fresh air, exploring the clouds, a nature walk, or a trip to the park to enjoy His creation as much as He did on Shabbat. I have written elsewhere about tzedakah (referring to charity, but it literally means "justice"), but Shabbat would be as good a time as any to discuss "tzedakah projects" and how children can make a difference by giving of themselves... their time, treasure, and talents.

Shabbat, as a day filled with rest (physical, spiritual, emotional), creative learning, and good deeds (and not with sports, television, shopping, video games, etc.), would certainly give a child (and family) much to look forward to. By all means, don't hire a babysitter, attempt to tie a kid to a chair, force them to take a nap, or stifle their creativity or energy in the guise of "keeping Shabbat." The L-rd of Shabbat is the One who gave them that energy and creativity, and remember that the Shabbat was made for man, and not man for Shabbat. (Mark 2:27) Shabbat should be a delight, especially for children. Of course, they will no doubt at times exert their wills and choose to fill the Shabbat with what they want to do, but because Shabbat is a day like no other, we parents have to enforce special boundaries as well, like not allowing them to watch television or play video games all day, and deciding whether or not they should participate in a sport that has practice on Shabbat, etc.

On Shabbat, many families attend a congregational service on Friday night or on Saturday, but there should also be special at-home activities the children enjoy. Whether it's singing songs as a family, reading a special book, or allowing them to eat popcorn or candy, they will come to understand that Shabbat is a special day, not because it's special to them (like a birthday), but because it's special to G-d. It's never too early (or too late) to begin teaching them about Shabbat. We must try our best to make them understand that, while Shabbat benefits us tremendously, it is not about us. It's a day to rest and enjoy G-d's presence and rejoice with Him for His beautiful creation. 

May your Shabbat... with children... be blessed!

*moms, PLEASE post comments/ideas on how you keep Shabbat with kids!

the guest- part two

In my first post of this series, I wrote about thinking about Shabbat in terms of having a special guest come to visit your home. (If you haven't already, you may want to read that post before moving on to this one.) I have been thinking a lot lately about how to celebrate Shabbat, and I am certain that this will be a continual learning process for the rest of my spiritual life ... until I sit down to the Shabbat table with my Rabbi Yeshua.

I am often confounded by the fact that the Scriptures have so little to say about how to celebrate something so dear to the heart of G-d, the weekly Shabbat (Sabbath). How do I know that it is dear to the heart of G-d? Well, I don't think it is a mere coincidence that, in so many individuals lives that are coming to a messianic understanding and lifestyle, one of the first areas of conviction concerns keeping the Shabbat. I have countless stories of this happening, and it happened to me as well. Furthermore, the Scriptures attest to the importance of keeping Shabbat, especially in the life of a non-Hebrew.

My favorite example is seen in Isaiah 56:1-7, which states: "Thus says the L-RD: "Keep justice, and do righteousness, For My salvation [is] about to come, and My righteousness to be revealed. Blessed [is] the man [who] does this, And the son of man [who] lays hold on it; Who keeps from defiling the Sabbath, And keeps his hand from doing any evil. Do not let the son of the foreigner who has joined himself to the L-RD speak, saying, "The L-RD has utterly separated me from His people"; Nor let the eunuch say, "Here I am, a dry tree". For thus says the L-RD: "To the eunuchs who keep My Sabbaths, And choose what pleases Me, And hold fast My covenant, Even to them I will give in My house And within My walls a place and a name better than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off. Also the sons of the foreigner who join themselves to the L-RD, to serve Him, And to love the name of the

L-RD, to be His servants-- Everyone who keeps from defiling the Sabbath, And holds fast My covenant-- Even them I will bring to My holy mountain, And make them joyful in My house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and their sacrifices [will be] accepted on My altar; For My house shall be called a house of prayer for all nations." This is a beautiful exhortation to those of us who are messianic believers, but are not Hebrew by birth, to keep the Shabbat, His Shabbat.

I was deeply touched and encouraged yesterday by stumbling upon a blog by an 18 year old young woman who is growing in her own messianic lifestyle while living with her non-messianic parents. One of her recent posts (http://www.asetapartlife.blogspot.com/) was about her efforts to keep the Shabbat. I am very grateful to now be the woman of my own house, married to a godly man, mother to a beautiful little girl, and daughter to a mother who lovingly accepts and embraces my messianic, Shabbat-keeping lifestyle (and even my husband's family understands that there are things we don't do on Shabbat). Hearing of another's struggle only reminds me of how blessed I am, and I am confident that this faithful young woman will one day become the queen of her own house as well.

Concerning how to keep Shabbat, I will be referencing Scriptural verses and also commenting on how they may be applied in [brackets], trusting that you will prayerfully have to come to your own conclusions, keeping in mind that G-d's Word is authoritative above everything else that I write here. The ministry called "First Fruits of Zion" has published a helpful booklet on 'Guarding Shabbat'. In it are listed "The 10 Commandments of Shabbat" and I will be quoting them:

1. Remember and observe Shabbat. (Exodus 20:8, 31:13, Deuteronomy 5:12) [using the traditional way of bringing in the Shabbat using candlelight, wine or grape juice, and challah bread is a beautiful way to welcome Shabbat and set it apart as holy.]

2. Remember that you were a slave in Egypt. (Deuteronomy 5:15) [read and re-read the story of Israel's slavery in Egypt (and tell it to your children), which will only make us more grateful to be free in Yeshua to enjoy His Shabbat]

3. Gather together for a holy convocation. (Leviticus 23:3) [whether that means walking or driving to a local congregation (or not-so-local), gathering in a home, or using the internet, Shabbat was not meant to be 24 hours spent all alone]

4. Call Shabbat a delight and honorable. (Isaiah 58:13-14) [Shabbat should be a day that is joyously anticipated, not dreaded. Spend time with family, sing special songs, do special activities, read together, etc. Shabbat should not be a 'boring' day for children, and I plan to write more in a separate entry about celebrating Shabbat with children]

5. Do not pursue your own desires on Shabbat. (Exodus 20:9-10) [Although some time on Shabbat should be spent on introspection, I don't think it is a 'me' day to be spent doing hobbies all day or going to the spa! However, I also don't think that Shabbat is a day on which we neglect to bathe or groom ourselves, because if we are congregating with others, these are not selfish acts! Our first focus should be on resting in HaShem and enjoying His presence]

6. Do not work on Shabbat. (Exodus 20: 9-10) [Anything that we get paid to do is work, and in my estimation, anything that stresses us out (besides caring for children of course!), takes our focus away from resting in G-d, or makes Shabbat just another day is also work. I try to refrain from writing blog entries on Shabbat because I hope to publish a book (and get paid for it) one day, but I am guilty of 'writing' in my mind when I am supposed to be taking my Shabbat nap! Also, I refrain from intensive cleaning (definitely work, and even the servants got to rest on Shabbat)... notice I said intensive cleaning, because sometimes we have to do some clean-up on Shabbat, especially when there are little ones around. I rarely wash dishes on Shabbat, because Shabbat should be about not doing those things that we do every other day of the week.

7. Do not cook on Shabbat. (Exodus 16:23) [Well, I am certainly guilty of breaking this one! I try to prepare extra food on Fridays, or we eat leftovers on Shabbat. I am working on being more diligent to prepare special meals ahead of time to enjoy on Shabbat.]

8. Do not kindle a fire on Shabbat. (Exodus 35:3) [In many ways, I am still uncertain of how to apply this mitzvah. It has a lot to do with the previous command to not cook, but I do not believe that it restricts us from turning on light switches or starting a car]

9. Do not participate in commerce on Shabbat. (Nehemiah 10:31; Jeremiah 17:21-22) [My family and I keep this command by not shopping or going out to eat on Shabbat, and striving not to buy anything on Shabbat, unless of course, it's inevitable. Two Erev Shabbats ago, however, we had to purchase a Metro card to ride the subway in order to get to a Shabbat gathering at someone's house, so we made the purchase. Also, if something is needed for the baby or for our health's sake, we feel it is permissible to buy it.]

10. Do good on Shabbat. (Matthew 12:12) [So many ways to apply this! If someone needs help, help them! If someone needs you, be there for them! Don't use Shabbat observance as an excuse to be reclusive or unavailable. Remember that Shabbat was made for us, and not the other way around.]

Learning to observe and guard Shabbat is a process, and I am still learning myself. By putting Scripture first and allowing the Spirit of G-d to speak to us about the importance of this special day, we can begin this process. I feel the most important aspect of keeping Shabbat is regarding it as holy, set apart.... different. Do whatever it takes in your life to make it different from all the other days, because G-d intended it to be that way. Just as He intends us to be holy, set apart.... different.

the guest- part one

Your special guest arrives right on time as usual. Your day has been spent preparing for her arrival, and you have looked forward to the time when she would appear. You prepared dinner, tidied up the house, and tried your best to get everything done in time, but just like last week, you're not quite sure if you completed all you intended to. But thankfully, this is a gracious and pleasant guest: she probably won't even notice the stray clothes or the clutter or the few items "out of place" in your home as she greets you. Your home is filled with joy and gladness, fellowship and meaningful conversation. Perhaps you all retire early so that you can continue the pleasure in the morning after you've rested, or perhaps you all stay up late, unable to leave one another's presence. Either way, you're probably disappointed when after a day, she has to say her farewells... until next week. Of course, you send her off with another special celebration, sad to see her go, but hopeful you will soon see her again. Your schedule and your plans revolve around this special guest's weekly visits. The guest I speak of is, of course, the Shabbat...

Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath of the L-RD your G-d; in it you shall not do any work, you or your son or your daughter, your male or your female servant or your cattle or your sojourner who stays with you. For in six days the L-RD made the heavens and the earth, the sea and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day; therefore the L-RD blessed the sabbath day and made it holy. -- Exodus 20:8-11

Nothing motivates me more to tidy up my house than company coming over. It's amazing how much I can get done in so little time when I know that someone is coming for a visit. A few weeks ago, as I was busy cleaning the house for an expected guest, I realized something. What if I could treat the Shabbat this way, as a special guest... a guest worthy of preferential treatment and honor...

In the siddur, Shabbat is referred to as the "Sabbath Bride" and there is a beautiful prayer, "Lecha Dodi" (Come, my Beloved) to welcome "her". It states, "Come my Beloved to greet the bride, the Sabbath presence, let us welcome! "Safeguard" and "Remember" in a single utterance the One and Only G-d made us hear. HaShem is One and His name is One, for renown, for splendor, and for praise. To welcome the Sabbath, come let us go, for it is a source of blessing; from the beginning, from antiquity she was honored, Last in deed, but first in thought." I am convinced that G-d holds Shabbat very near to His heart, and so should we. I have heard countless testimonies of individuals coming to the realization that they should be keeping the Sabbath as the first step in their journey to becoming messianic. As the siddur states, it is a source of blessing. Of all the commandments He had to pick from, G-d chose to list honoring the Sabbath in the Ten Words (Ten Commandments). That should tell us something!

The Shabbat is one way that the G-d of Israel chose to draw those from the nations to Himself as well. In Exodus 20, we read that Shabbat is for everyone, including the servants and foreigners. There is another beautiful passage in Isaiah 56 (verse 3-7): "Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the L-RD say, "The L-RD will surely separate me from His people. Nor let the eunuch say, 'Behold, I am a dry tree.' For thus says the L-RD, 'To the eunuchs who keep My sabbaths, And choose what pleases Me, And hold fast My covenant; To them I will give in My house and within My walls a memorial, And a name better than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name which will not be cut off. Also the foreigners who join themselves to the L-RD, To minister to Him, and to love the name of the L-RD, To be His servants, every one who keeps from profaning the sabbath And holds fast My covenant; Even those I will bring to My holy mountain And make them joyful in My house of prayer. Their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be acceptable on My altar; For My house will be called a house of prayer for all the peoples.'" Sounds pretty clear, doesn't it? Keeping the Shabbat equals blessings and acceptance from G-d.

But how do we do it? I'll write more about this in a later post...

slow down

My microwave stopped working last night and I am planning to buy a new one today, because as I told my husband, I can't function without a microwave. If it can't be heated or cooked in a microwave, I'm not eating it during the day when I'm home with Elli. It would take too long otherwise, and 8 month old babies have no patience whatsoever (I've learned this through experience)!

We live in a 'microwave' society, don't we? If it requires waiting, if it takes too long, if it calls for more than ten minutes of our day, it must not be worth it. If it interrupts our schedule, if it takes our attention away from what we're doing, if it postpones anything at all... it must be an inconvenience. As women, we are programmed for multi-tasking out of necessity. There's never just one thing we are doing or thinking about at a time, always several.

As I pulled up to a store at 9:00 this morning that didn't open until 10:00 with a sleepy baby in the car seat, and then drove home to find that my mother had left a message telling me that the store didn't open until 10:00 and that she would go with me to help, I realized something: Wow, I need to slow down...

Thank G-d that He gives us a day each week to slow down (to stop): Shabbat. And with it fast approaching now, let us remember to slow down and rest and enjoy the gift that He has given us in it. All of the work we have to do will still be there after the Shabbat. It can wait. The microwave will still be there in the store after the baby's nap. It can wait. Some of the greatest things in life are those that we must wait for. We can wait...

Shabbat Shalom.

Resting on Shabbat

Another Shabbat (Sabbath) is almost here. It is amazing to me how much significance G-d puts on honoring the Shabbat in the Scriptures, and how he speaks to hearts even today about that significance. I would love to go into more detail in a later blog about Shabbat and its mention in G-d's word, but for now I just wanted to post this quote I received in an email from chabad.org because it is short and simple and gets to the heart of G-d's command to rest on Shabbat. In my own family life, I am still in the process of uncovering the layers of the beauty of the Sabbath and how to truly keep and guard it as holy. It has been a wonderful journey thus far, and I look forward to sharing more of it with you. Until then, let's rest...

"Exodus 23:12 "And on the seventh day you shall rest"
Look at a globe or a map and spot an island.
Do you see that bold brown patch of land amidst the surrounding blue water area?
It is clearly visible, existing peacefully and calmly, while the waves fling themselves against its sandy beaches.
The seventh day of the week - Shabbat - can be compared to an island.
Not a geographical one, but rather an "island in time."
The days before and the following week are busy and full of weekday activity. They are like those tossing waves in the sea. Shabbat is like that peaceful island.
We are commanded to stop all our work and rest on Shabbat.
On Shabbat, we do not concern nor involve ourselves in our weekday work and occupations."

How do you honor the Sabbath?