do you drip?

I suppose it's significant that I'm writing this on my husband's birthday. He will appreciate it.

"A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike; He who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand." Proverbs 27:15-16

What a passage! It likens a nagging wife to a constant dripping (or imagine the annoying drip of a leaking faucet), and makes it sound impossible to restrain her. I would like to say that I do not see myself in this passage, but I'd be lying.

The most interesting things to me about men and women are their differences. Anyone who claims we are not different is essentially denying G-d's design (and His image) in us. He created us with different characteristics and tendencies to compliment one another. I read a quote, I believe by the Baal Shem Tov, who said that a husband and wife are like two flames that can either come together to make a single brighter flame or they can consume each other...

We women seem to be born to contend with one another and with our husbands. It's something we all struggle with. In fact, in cursing Eve, G-d told her that her desire would be for her husband and he would rule over her (Genesis 3:16). Many take this to mean that she would desire to rule him, but G-d did not intend it that way. Women are created with a great strength to do, to create, to speak out... but that strength has to be kept under control. It seems that the single most effective hindrance (or destroyer) of a relationship for a woman is often her mouth and what comes out of it... and for a man, his silence...

On the other side of the coin, a woman has the gift of healing with her words. Women are said to be the more 'verbal' sex, although some (like me) are often too quiet when it is sometimes necessary for them to speak. But even I (ask my husband) have my moments of babbling (or nagging) when I need to talk. In Proverbs 31, we read that a woman of valor does her husband good and not harm all the days of her life. That would include the words she speaks to him. And in verse 26, "she opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." Oh, how I wish that I could say that every time I opened my mouth, I spoke wisdom and kindness!

Let us be mindful today of our words. Are they healing or hurtful? Are they for good or for harm? Are they full of loving instruction or like a leaky faucet? Whether you struggle with nagging, or gossip, or slander, or silence... let us pray to be master of our mouths today... better yet, let us pray that the Master would be master of our mouths today.