Tuesday, September 15, 2009

sanity drive

Well, I'm happy to say that we haven't had a sanity drive for a while, but we had one today. A "sanity drive" is my description of putting the baby in the car seat (to take a nap because she was refusing to take one and screaming at the top of her lungs in her crib) and driving (and thinking, praying, whatever) while she sleeps. Today was one of those days...

On one of these drives, I almost always find myself driving east, towards the Atlantic Ocean. Though I usually just head to Palm Beach, today's was special because I drove all the way to Singer Island and then onward to Juno Beach. It brought back memories for me as this was the route I used to take my pit bull, Cobra, to the beach. Just me and her, windows rolled down in the 1985 Volkswagen Jetta, her slobbering all over the backseat and me enjoying the fresh air. Life was simpler then, but if I had a chance to go back, I'd say , "No way!" Now it's still just me and her, though the 'her' is a sleeping baby in the car seat.

Living so close to the beach for practically all of my life, I always remember being in awe of the ocean. It was there when I was about 18 years old, looking out from the sidewalk to the perfectly straight line of the horizon, that I remember asking my (stoner) friend, "How could anyone say that there is no G-d?" Though I didn't know Him at that time, I believed that He existed with all of my heart. I plan on writing much about how I came to know Him and the journey that He has carried me on (if He tarries after this Rosh Hashanah), but for now, I just praise G-d for creating the ocean... for the terror, awe, and beauty that it inspires in me and for the calming effect that it has on me when I'm having one of those days as a mother.

Surely not by chance, I came across Psalm 96 today. Verses 7-13 state: "Ascribe to the L-RD, O families of the peoples, Ascribe to the L-RD glory and strength. Ascribe to the L-RD the glory of His name; Bring an offering and come into His courts. Worship the L-RD in holy attire; Tremble before Him, all the earth. Say among the nations, "The L-RD reigns; Indeed, the world is firmly established, it will not be moved; He will judge the peoples with equity." Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice; Let the sea roar, and all it contains; Let the field exult, and all that is in it. Then all the trees of the forest will sing for joy before the L-RD, for He is coming, for He is coming to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in His faithfulness."

During my sanity drive today, I couldn't help but think about Rosh Hashanah ("Feast of Trumpets" in Leviticus 23). Will this be the year that Yeshua calls for us, His children? During this time of introspection and repentance, I realize how far I am from being like Him, but I also realize how far He has brought me and that leaves me far more hopeful. Although it is important to use our past to teach us, remind us, and inspire us, the future that is awaiting us is much more glorious and important, especially now, two days before this very special Holy Day.

I read a very interesting quote in an email today. It is entitled Reboot by Tzvi Freeman: "Time is not a train of cars hitched one to another, one year dragged along by the year preceding, the present hitched tightly to the past, the future enslaved to the present. Rather, every year arrives fresh from its Creator, a year that never was before and could never have been known before its arrival. That is why we call Rosh Hashana "the birthday of the world" in our prayers. The past has returned to its place, never to return. With the blowing of the shofar, the entirety of Creation is renewed. From this point on, even the past exists only by virtue of the present." If this is indeed the year when the Bridegroom calls for His bride, then the past is gone forever, never to return. The only question that keeps replaying in my mind is, "I've only known Him for about 7 years: am I ready to meet Him face to face?" I don't know if I'll ever be truly ready, but now's the time to get there.

Are you ready to meet Him? For He is coming...

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